What should I do if after I put my loved one into treatment they won’t respond to me?

In this video, I want to talk to you about a family who recently placed their loved one into treatment. The son got into a treatment center and after that, he didn’t want to talk to his parents. He wanted to be alone and didn’t want to do anything with his parents. The parents called me distressed and upset because of all the money spent on a lawyer and the treatment. They thought if they put him into treatment, things would change.

Here’s what I want to share based on our experiences handling hundreds of cases and speaking to thousands of parents from all over the country and sometimes outside of the country. If your loved one has been dealing with substance use or mental health disorder for many years, it’s going to take time. For instance, you had cancer, it would take time to seek remission. It takes time for your loved one to find recovery for substance use and mental illness. You need to understand that it’s not your loved one who is in treatment; it’s the disease. Substance use and mental illness hate treatment because if you put somebody into treatment, there’s a good chance their substance use and mental illness can permanently go away. Long-term treatment can maintain long-term recovery.

It’s distressing, but if your loved one doesn’t want to talk to you, leave them alone. Allow your loved ones to deal with this on their own. They have a support system in the facility, and it’s the responsibility of the treatment center and the clinicians to do the work. All you have to do is give support. Love them unconditionally and understand what they’re dealing and suffering with. I think when you deal with that, at some point, from what we’ve seen, your loved one’s going to pick up the phone when they feel a lot better, and thank you for putting them into treatment. It takes the longest and the hardest to understand if you’re a parent, but you have to understand.

Stay safe and be well.